Where Are They Now?
by Rouka The Bane
Summary: Ten Years Have Passed Since We All Went Camping. Here We Are Now. CH 1. Malk Parody (CupOfSquirrel Version) CH 2. (Bold means I'm speaking in a demonic voice) Stabbed (TomSka) CH 3. CH 4.
1. Undertaker's Idea

Undertaker: Hey Grell, you have anything to drink?

Grell: Yeah, in the fridge.

Me: Hey Undertaker! Grab me a glass of malk!

Undertaker: They don't have any MALK but I can get you some MILK.

Grell: ...That's, what she just said!

Me: I just want some malk.

Undertaker: You're saying it wrong. You're saying "malk" like it's some sort of illness.

Grell: Right, like, two percent.

Me: Like whole malk!

Undertaker: No no no no, say "milkshake".

Me: Milkshake.

Undertaker: Now say milk.

Me: Malk.

Undertaker: *Gawking.* Are you hearing this?!

Grell: Yeah! The girl wants a glass of molk!

Undertaker: MOLK?!

Grell: Give her the molk Undertaker!

Me: UNDERTAKER! POUR ME A GLASS OF MALK!

Undertaker: Why are you yelling at me!?

Grell: Just give her the freaking molk!

Undertaker: You guys aren't even saying the same thing!

Me: MMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALK! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALK!

Grell: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLK! MOLK! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLK!

Undertaker: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! *Holds two guns to his head.*

Me: *Points a gun at Undertaker.*

Grell: *Points a gun at Undertaker.* Put the gun down, Undertaker!

Undertaker: You're gonna shoot me if I shot myself?! That doesn't make any sence!

Me: *Holds the gun at my head.*

Grell: *Holds the gun at his head.* Just put the gun down Undertaker!

Me: Put it down! JUST PUT IT DOWN!

Grell: PUT IT DOWN!

Undertaker: PUT YOUR GUNS AWAY!

Grell: *Half crying.* Just put it down!

Undertaker: I'm gonna kill myself over this!

Me: You're like a brother to me! Your HAND is like a brother to me!

Undertaker: GNNNNNAAAAAAAAA!

"And after that we all pull the trigger."

Undertaker reclined on a coffin, twiddling his hair and talking to me on the phone. A decade had passed since we'd all gone our own ways after camping. He was in his shop in London, talking to me on the phone one stormy night.

"No, we're NOT going to scare trainees like that!"

I was in my apartment at the newest set up Dispatch in the States. I was crouched in front of my oven, checking on something cooking. Undertaker whined,

"Why not?"

"Because, it's just so, dark! L-Listen Undertaker, I'm kind of busy right now."

I hung up. There was a cat in the oven.

"Go on, get in there! Stay, stay!"

I closed to oven, set the time for one hour, and walked away.


	2. Top Tips

"Hello. My name is William T. Spears, and I'm here with my friend, Rouka,"

I echoed in a retarded voice,

"Rouka~"

"and I'm going to give you some top tips on what to do in the event of a heavily bleeding wound."

"Yes~"

Smiling, I pulled out a Scythe and plunged it into Will's chest and pulled it back out in a clean motion. Blood spurts from the wound before he screams and presses his palms over the wound. In disbelief, he exclaims,

"What the-!? Did you just stab me?!"

Not hearing him, I continued,

"If you've been stabbed it's very important not to panic."

"SWEET HELL IT BURNS! DID YOU LACE THIS KNIFE WITH SALT!?"

"The first thing you need to do is apply pressure to the pain hole to stop or slow the flow of blood. No matter how salty or delicious it may be. Mmmmm~"

"DID YOU LACE THIS KNIFE WITH TINY BEES?!"

"Just keep pressure on the wound. Hold it all in and never let go. Like your oppressing dark fantasies."

"AH! THE SALTY BEES ARE IN MY FACE!"

"Next call for an ambulance. If you're in the London Division dial 911."

"THEY'RE IN MY EYES!"

"If you're in the States Division, dial 999."

"BUZZING IN MY EYES!"

"If you work in another Division, I'm so sorry!"

My pupils rapidly changed from tiny to dilated. Will scrabbled to the phone and exclaimed,

"Help! I need an ambulance!"

The voice on the other end was smooth.

"Hello and welcome to Hell, may I take your order~?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE PHONE!?"

Will hung up.

"Here are some top tips for passing the time, waiting for an ambulance! Read a book, write a book, book a holiday for your book. Or **think bout what you've done to deserve this!**"

A demon appeared.

"A list of the next one hundred souls demons are targeting?"

Will, forgetting his hysteria at being stabbed by a crazy demon, turned to the other demon.

"Oh, that was fast!"

"Well it sounded like an emergency."

"Wait what did you mean by deserve this!?"

"Ig you happen to come across someone bleeding their traitorous life away, you can help them by applying pressure to their wound. Like the unrelenting pressure from the voices in your head. Ehhhhhh."

"WOAH THERE ARE EVEN MORE BEES ON THIS LIST!"

"Now here are some top tips on hoe to avoid getting stabbed in the first place. One, don't go down dark alley ways, two, avoid making eye contact with old ladies, and number three, don't, eat, **my sandwich**."

"...IS THAT WHAT THIS WAS ABOUT!? IS THAT WHAT THIS WAS ABOUT!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YO-"

A carriage pulled over them, killing them both. I think.

"Next week, top tips on what to do with two dead bodies. Uh bubye!"


End file.
